i've been thinking a lot lately, about nigeria actually. about everything that happened there. the other day i was walking down the street and i got a wiff of nigeria. I can't explain what the smell is exactly, but it sent me into a whirlwind of memories in that split second. i got thinking about my friends, about the colors, the kids, the heat, the stars, the bugs, the way it made me feel, the way it changed me. for the better. i think i thought i could put that experience into a nice little box, tucked away on some safe shelf in my mind. honestly, i made an effort to isolate my time there from everything else, to make it easier to transition back to 'my life'. which was wrong. but justified in my situation. so here i am. a box of messy thoughts in my lap and i don't really know what to do with them.

it's kind of like a summer night when you catch a firefly and it's there stuck inbetween your palms and while you want it to be free, you don't want to lose it's beautiful light. so you stand there with your eyelashes tickling your hand as you watch it and wonder.

there are somethings that you just can't ever forget, even if you wanted to. and those small things mean the most.
i think